Selflessness is the word I am looking for. That is the word that comes to my mind when I think of my dad. Baba,  the person that has been there for me with an open mind and a kind heart. He has done things for me that I can say with certainty not many dads have done in their entire lives for their kids.

Commitment to My Learning Languages

When I was going to high school, my dad would be picking me up every Saturday, Monday, Wednesday in the car rain or shine . He was waiting there with a bundled lunch; sometimes even a warm lunch. He was there waiting for the school bell to  take me to my English class at Iran Language Institute(ILI).  He was so patiently and religiously shifting around his work to commit to this ritual.

Years passed by and I went to the  Melli University. If you have lived in Tehran, you know where it is located. If you have no idea, I can tell you it was far from our house. This university had a widespread campus in a sharp slope. Great picturesque views that flourished your senses for  writing poetry every single day. Before I had a car, my dad would come and wait for me in the car patiently even for hours to take me to the language classes in the other parts of town . People ask me: how I learned French, German, and Spanish. I should tell them because I had parents that committed to pay for my classes and to take me there till I could drive. Now, that I have kids is when I realize how big of a sacrifice this has been!

Helping me see  the world

When I turned 18, my dad sent me to France for summer. I can not recall seeing any dad this liberal;  at least amongst the dads of people I knew! Aside for paying for the trip expense, the fact that he was always thinking I should experience traveling and seeing the world was priceless!

My parents were always supporting me to go and see other places. My great travel pal: Bahark and I did some globe trotting back then!

Boys!

I remember most people were hiding a phone conversation or any encounter of any type with boys from their dads!  Always it sounded crazy to me. Boys were part of life at university. As a matter of fact, it was a fun part now that I look back.

A lot of girls would advise a boy to hang up the phone if their dad picked up the phone when calling their house number. It was before the epidemic spread of mobile phones. Never did I have to go through this. He never made me feel that I have to hide someone or something. I am always grateful for that. Lying was never my big forte in life even white lies.

And more.. Supportive parenthood!

And my list goes on.. I can sit here and write a lot more. I can tell you that he has always been there financially for me. His motto was: “Money does not bring happiness but lack of money can bring misery so find a happy middle ground.”

Emotionally, he has always sat there and listened to me attentively even when I blabed all the boring stuff about my work. In one word, I have had an honest, straightforward relationship with my parents.. Never tried to picture things different than what it is: good, bad, hard, happy, whatever was going on at that moment.

I learned how precious it is when I experienced seeing parents living in their own ivory towers. Parents that would not bother themselves and put their own comfort above their kids.  For one thing, I want to be the supportive one for my kids. Parenthood to me is a life time friendship in good or bad.

Pain, why don’t you leave him alone?

My dad  is diagnosed with spinal stenosis. His body is in pain and his emotions are in turmoil. He can not walk and to him not walking is synonymous to gradual death. He is that kind of a person.

Doctors said the only way to deal with it is surgery but none is willing to do the operation on him in Iran.  After 5 months of physical therapy and no relief of pain, he is depressed. Still he tells me not to worry and that he is going to be fine. His typical self.

He asked me one thing to see if someone can take a look at his MRI and tell him if this condition is operable. I know he is looking for some HOPE.  I am not in health related field. Reaching out to my limited network of people around me, I have tried to ask for some help. It seems I need a neurosurgeon to understand his condition and check MRI.

Looking for a Neurosurgeon

Doctor friends told me that neurosurgeons are hard to find and even harder to reach especially if you need a favor. No one is willing to sit down and talk to me before they know that they can bill the insurance for 400-500 dollar  worth of their time.

I still have not given up hope and believe my social outreach can help us find a way for him to walk again . I am looking for a neurosurgeon that can take a look at his MRI and give me their opinion.

Do you know a Neurosurgeon? 

Grateful.

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